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Anxiety....you can't live with it, and you can't live without it.
No, really!
Since there's no delete button to get rid of anxiety and the resulting thoughts that flood the mind when it's present, you actually do need to figure out how to live with it.
To help you do that, this article offers insights and tips to help you gain perspective on anxiety, and more specifically, food allergy-related anxiety.
Food Allergy Anxiety: Does it Always Mean Something Isn't Safe?
Well, if you listened to your mind when it feels anxious about food allergies, you might automatically believe that feeling anxious about a situation means that it's unsafe.
But it's not that simple, and therefore, you shouldn't automatically follow that line of thinking.
Food allergy-related anxiety is often focused on health and safety, but not always. (We'll explore that notion in a moment). Additionally, safety can have varying degrees, but your anxious mind might not consider that. What do I mean by varying degrees of safety? I mean that some experiences may be totally unsafe, while others may be safe enough to engage in.
When it comes to food allergy anxiety and wanting to avoid allergic reactions, the mind, which likes to detect even the smallest threats, will push you to categorize many things as unsafe even if that's not accurate.
So then, how do you determine what experiences are unsafe versus safe enough so you can use that information to help you navigate your food allergy-related anxiety?
My top tip for this is to have this conversation with your allergist so they can help you learn how to assess actual allergen risks rather than assuming things are riskier than they may be.
For example, this conversation can help you gain perspective on the risk levels for non-ingestion experiences, including touching surfaces, being near allergens, and being kissed on the cheek. Your anxious mind might convince you that you or your child will experience anaphylaxis in these instances - and depending on your allergic profile, maybe that is true. But rather than assume it based on your anxious thoughts and/or others' experiences, have that important conversation with your allergist so you learn how to accurately assess food allergy safety risks.
While I touch on this topic in my forthcoming book, you can also read more about this important conversation with your allergist in my article, Managing Food Allergy Anxiety: 2 Conversations to Have With Your Allergist.
Could Food Allergy Anxiety Also Be About Things Besides Safety?
The simple answer to this question is "yes, there most likely are multiple things fueling your food allergy-related anxiety." Lets explore.
It's easy to assume that anxiety - food allergy-related or otherwise - only shows up when something is unsafe. Again, that's because the mind likes to seek safety and keep you from threats.
Unfortunately, just like a very sensitive smoke detector that goes off at the slightest vapor or hint of anything smoke-like, the mind can interpret things as unsafe even when they're not. And when that happens, a mind that's preoccupied by food allergy-related anxiety is likely to assume that situations are unsafe just because anxiety is present. What's more, it's less likely to consider whether (and how) situations can be safe even when there might be low-level risks involved, thereby pushing people to avoid things that may be safe enough to experience.
However, beyond food allergy safety concerns, anxiety shows up for other reasons, It's normal, and even expected, to experience anxious thoughts when you're:
trying something new
uncertain about an outcome
going through changes or life transitions
doing something that's important or matters to you
needing motivation to take action
realizing you may need to approach things differently
missing important information (e.g., information that helps you assess allergy safety)
All of these things can be anxiety-inducing, which is why it's important to consider whether the food allergy-related anxiety you feel in any given experience is only about safety, or if it's fueled by some of these other factors, too.
What You Can Do to Gain Perspective on Your Food Allergy Anxiety.
Since your anxious mind may jump to the conclusion that things are unsafe when doing something outside of your comfort zone, aim to do the following when that happens:
Notice the anxiety.
Just notice the thoughts swirling around your mind. The ones that are loud and push you to assume the experience is automatically unsafe because you feel anxious.
Ask and answer.
Next, ask yourself "Is there anything else making me feel anxious other than worries about food allergy safety?" Explore what else is fueling your anxiety. By doing this, it helps you gain a fuller perspective on the situation, which in turn helps you develop solutions for how to move forward.
Problem-solve, prepare, and act.
Once you've noticed your anxious thoughts, and explored other reasons you may be feeling anxious, it's time to prepare solutions and take action. First, use the risk assessment information and strategies you learned from your allergist to determine the level of safety and risk, and determine whether the experience is safe enough (even if your mind is shouting that it's not). Next, problem-solve ways to address and navigate the other sources of anxiety. Finally, take actions aligned with pursuing important experiences even when anxiety is present.
Using an example of eating out, here's how the steps above might play out in your mind:
Notice the anxiety: "After recently reading about someone having an allergic reaction while eating at a restaurant, I notice that my mind is trying to convince me that the restaurant we feel comfortable eating at is suddenly unsafe. It's trying to convince me that we should stop eating out all together even though it's something we enjoy doing."
Ask and answer: "What else might be fueling my anxious thoughts besides worry about food allergy-safety? I have noticed that we've gotten so used to eating at this restaurant that we've stopped asking important allergy risk assessment questions, and that recent story might be motivating me to make sure we get back to asking safety questions even if we're eating at a familiar restaurant."
Problem-solve, prepare, and act: "Realizing that my anxiety is also about needing to adjust how we approach eating out, even at safe restaurants, I will make sure we ask important questions when we next eat there. After all, our allergist told us that asking questions every time we eat out is a useful tool to help us assess risk and keep safe with food allergies."
In the example above, had the person assumed that her anxiety was present only because she felt something was unsafe, she may have started avoiding a restaurant she had safely eaten at many times before.
Instead, pausing to gain perspective on the anxiety, and to explore all of what might be fueling it, allowed her to problem-solve so she was still willing to follow through with eating out rather than stop engaging in something she enjoyed (and was proud of herself for doing).
Remember, understanding your food allergy-related anxiety and learning strategies for navigating it is key if you want to find balance between fear and living your best life!